Tired of hearing about all the things you should do when heading into an interview? Check out these tried and true methods of turning off your interviewer and ensure that you don’t get a call back – ever.
Interviewees, take heed.
The less you know about the company, the better to show them how little you care. That means don’t bother poring over their website to find out about what they do and how they’re structured, and who cares about who the CEO is? And of course, don’t brush up on possible interview questions and answers – that would just make things too easy.
Get noticed for all the wrong reasons with your crumpled shirt, scuffed shoes, dirty fingernails and bed hair. They’re not hiring you for your looks, are they?
Nothing screams ‘You can take this job and shove it’ more than turning up late for your interview.
Because some texts just can’t wait.
It’s not as if they’ve offered you the job yet, but you want to know upfront if they’re just wasting your time. Like a famed supermodel, you don’t like to get out of bed unless they make it well worth your while.
Why get bogged down in detail? Be vague about your previous experiences, what skills and qualities you can bring to the job, and how you can benefit the company – and you can be sure they’ll be equally vague about your chances of getting the job. Or maybe not – they could always give you a very clear and unambiguous ‘No’.
This will let them know that you’re a whinger who will speak just as glowingly of them one day.
This winning approach will show them that you’ve got plenty of ‘tood that will endear you to your future colleagues – not that they’ll ever get to meet you since you won’t be hired.
No interest, no curiosity, no forethought – what’s not to love?
Don’t prepare and anticipate what you may need or be asked for in the interview. That means no referee details, no extra copy of your resume, no notepad to jot down your own notes, and no supporting documents or samples of your work.
Oh, and after this exemplary interview, if you run out of things to talk about you could always mention that you’re still hung over from getting trashed the night before. Then sit back and enjoy the serenity of unemployment.